I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
