I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize