I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
