Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
