you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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