I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
