know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
How does one acquire holy water?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
