I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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