stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
