we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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