could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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