She is in my trunk
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just blew my weed a kiss
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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