I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
