hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
ttyl tear gas
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
