Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
