Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
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Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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