NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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