i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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