we're chasing vodka with high fives
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize