the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
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He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
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I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??