Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.