please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.