well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
