Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
