I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
