at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
