Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
