There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
