i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
