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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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