i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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