I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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