That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
