You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
now i know why i became what i already was.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
