it was like eating out sand paper
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
did i just pee glitter
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
