I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
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Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize