we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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