you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
