so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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