i just google imaged poop.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize