The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
