why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
