Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
