I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
