I feel like abortions should bother me more
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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