nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
