new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
