How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
