Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Swine flu is the new snow day.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
