like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
