you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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