I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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