mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize