remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize