I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
