that's an acceptable place to lick
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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