whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just want to make out with him forever
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
