why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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