grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
