I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
