I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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