I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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