yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
