if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
