So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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