did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize