i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
