hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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